In June of 2003, I was diagnosed with breast cancer. At the time, my sons and I were still grieving over the loss of my sister and a close friend to cancer. I did not want to put my sons through the pain of seeing me weaken from chemotherapy treatment. I would like to nominate myself and my two sons to be an honorary “bat family”. Just like the Angels wouldn’t be a team without every player doing their part, I am a survivor because of others that gave me joy, strength, and determination to stay in the line up. Amongst the angels in my life, my sons are my greatest fans.
My two disabled, adopted sons needed me to be strong I was determined to stay strong and carry on as usual to the best of my ability. I needed to do that for my sons, my students, my family and my friends. Initially, my determination was instinctive and maternalistic. I continued to work through my chemotherapy. I had my treatment on Thursday afternoon so that I’d be my sickest on Saturday. People saw me as courageous, but I was really a coward. There was a shame that came upon me. My body was disfigured, my long hair gone, the pain that resulted in me being wheelchair bound for a while, my inability to meet the needs of my sons…there is much more to fighting cancer than the disease…
My eldest son learned to wash clothes, cook TV dinners and help my younger son get ready for school each day. Watching my boys grow in courage and responsibility was my medicine. As quaint as it may sound, getting away to see an Angel’s game brought relief to my son’s and myself. It allowed us to enjoy “today” together.
Although I adopted my two sons because of their needs, I realized during that period how much I needed them. Their acceptance took away the pain. Their joy was contagious. Their compassion brought healing. The strength we gave one another was life changing. Now that I am feeling better and praying for a complete recovery, the three of us are thankful for the hardships that we have been able to grow through together. Our bond with the ANGELS Baseball team is special. Not only did they provide relief in hard times, we understand teamwork because WE are cancer survivors together.
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