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A refresher course on every AL Opening Day starter

A refresher course on the AL Opening Day pitchers

The new season is just around the corner, but we're not counting on MLB's 30 teams to hold an ice breaker scavenger hunt and properly acquaint themselves with every fan in America.

With that in mind, we went ahead and drew up a little cheat sheet to remind you who's gonna be on the hill for each of the AL ballclubs for the first pitch of 2015. (Check out the NL edition here.)

Angels: Jered Weaver

weaver

Weaver is only three years removed from his no-hitter, and he's a big fan of teammate Mike Trout: 

weaver.gif

Astros: Dallas Keuchel

Keuchel

He's the dude with the beard who kicked his way to a 2014 Gold Glove Award

keuchel

Athletics: Sonny Gray

Gray

Gray's the Joffrey-looking kid who's definitely 25, but looks like he might need to get to bed early because he's got an AP U.S. History mid-term in the morning. He started on Opening Day last year, but looked like he might lose his grip on that spot when the A's added Jeff Samardzija, Jason Hammel and Jon Lester during the season. Then the A's got rid of Shark, Hammel and Lester, so the kid retained his throne.

Blue Jays: Drew Hutchison

Hutch

With Marcus Stroman missing all of 2015 while rehabilitating his knee after surgery, Hutch will take the mound for the Jays for Game 1 of 162. He's the 24-year-old starter who has a tiger cub good luck charm. Also, he's the only person not related to Aziz Ansari who watches Suits on USA

Indians: Corey Kluber

Kluber

He's the Tribe hurler who beat out King Felix and Chris Sale to win the 2014 AL Cy Young and, also, might be a robot. His nickname is "Klubot" and he was recently on the April cover of Popular Mechanics. January's issue had a robot on the cover. December's issue had a spaceship on the cover. November's issue had a robot on the cover. We're done here.

Mariners: Felix Hernandez

Felix

The Martin Scorsese of AL pitchers: nominated every year but only won once. The 2010 AL Cy Young Award winner has made at least 30 starts in each of the last nine seasons. From April to Labor Day, he'll be the most reliable thing in your life. Once every five days he'll be out on the hill just mowing batters down for the M's.

Orioles: Chris Tillman

Tillman

Tillman's the same guy that started last year. You might remember him from his epic 14-pitch battle against Ian Kinsler in last season's ALDS. Or from the O's pet calendar photo shoot where he posed with the adorable Myley.

This is the part when you "awww."

Rangers: Yovani Gallardo

Gallardo

Familiar face, different look, Gallardo started the last five Opening Days for the Brewers. This year, he'll realize his fate as a Ranger as was foretold by that time he hung out with Royce Clayton as a child.

Rays: Chris Archer

Archer

Not Alex Cobb, the pitcher who followed a stray dog over multiple lanes of highway traffic and then adopted it down at Spring Training this year. Cobb is working his way back from an injury, so Archer will start in his place. He's the kid with his heart on his sleeve and a penchant for impersonating 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick.

Red Sox: Clay Buchholz

Buchholz

He's the guy who looks kinda like when you try to bathe a cat. Also, he's the Red Sox pitcher who started four postseason games for the 2013 team that won the World Series, but didn't receive a decision in any of them. Please note that you're not a real Clay Buchholz fan unless you wear Clay Buchholz earrings for each of his starts.

Royals: Yordano Ventura

Ventura

You remember Ventura from last season's Fall Classic. He's the kid with the heater and the hair and the awesome leg-kick finish that should remind you of Pedro Martinez. Also, he owns (and can pull off) a one-piece bunny suit.

Tigers: David Price

Price

It's not Justin Verlander for the first time since 2006. Instead, it's Price -- the Tigers ace with the dogs who isn't dating Kate Upton.

Twins: Phil Hughes

Hughes

Hughes is the former Yankee/current Twins beat reporter who is known for his accuracy ... on the page and on the mound. Hughes -- the best pitcher on the staff last season -- set an MLB record for strikeout-to-walk ratio in 2014 and has been rewarded with the first Opening Day start of his career.

White Sox: Jeff Samardzija

Shark

The guy with the nickname "Shark" but the look of one of the pirates from Peter Pan: The Musical! He came to the South Side by way of a cameo in Oakland when the A's went all in and came up empty. You probably recognize him because he played wide receiver at Notre Dame and spent a few years pitching for the Cubs. Samardzija is a Chicago boy at heart finally ready to pitch for the team he cheered for as a child.

Yankees: Masahiro Tanaka

Tanaka

Instead of renowned children's author CC Sabathia, the Yanks will call on 2014's pitching phenom, Masahiro Tanaka. Tanaka is known as much for his splitter as he is for posing for photos with his adorable puppy.

Seriously, with that picture available on the Internet, it's crazy we're not all Yankees fans when Tanaka's on the hill.