7 jobs that might be a perfect second act for Alex Rodriguez if he retires in 2017
Start marking the days on your calendars, folks, because the Alex Rodriguez farewell tour has an official timetable now that he's reportedly, maybe, announced his intention to retire following the 2017 season.
To help A-Rod transition to a life after baseball, we took a hard look at some of the other skills he's demonstrated in recent months that might help him decide how to spend his retirement. And while playing 36 holes a day in some tropical location sounds grand, we're thinking his time might be better spent diving into a new profession with his second act. Here are seven jobs that will be perfect for A-Rod once he officially calls it quits two seasons from now:
After the Yankees were eliminated from the 2015 postseason by the Astros in the AL Wild Card Game, Rodriguez signed on to join the FOX broadcast team covering the World Series and was rather impressive in the studio. A-Rod later said that while he always respected broadcast journalists, the experience gave him a newfound appreciation for the folks who are particularly great at the craft.
If he hangs 'em up after the 2017 season, you can bet that the broadcast networks are gonna be linin' up around the block to get the man on a set and behind a microphone.
At some point in most of our lives, we all realize that we don't have a future in getting paid to pose shirtless in front of mirrors. That day never came for Rodriguez because the man's got talent.
You can't teach that at a modeling combine, folks. That's as raw as raw talent gets. Without baseball in the way, A-Rod might be able to fill a whole coffee table book (or at least a few pages of a viral Tumblr) just by looking at his own reflection while someone captures the moment and adds a fancy filter.
College football sideline reporter
If there's a major sporting event to be witnessed -- and it doesn't conflict with a Yankees game -- A-Rod is watching. He's not just a student of the game, he's a student of all games. Which is why he was rocking Cardinal red on the Stanford sideline when Notre Dame played in Palo Alto last season.
Alex Rodriguez on hand to cheer on Stanford tonight vs Notre Dame. pic.twitter.com/kQAQENGooK- Angelo Di Carlo (@angdicarlowndu) November 28, 2015
With that kind of access, A-Rod's already half-way there. All he's got to do is find himself a mic and swap out the embroidered patch on the breast of his sponsored fleece and he's good to go. The man should already be practicing his, "Back to you, Chris and Kirk."
Speaking of A-Rod and Stanford, while Rodriguez was in Palo Alto to catch that Notre Dame game, the Graduate School of Business was trying to recruit the 14-time All-Star as a guest lecturer.
A-Rod also has the Stanford connection because Mussina went here and the GSB is trying to get him as a guest speaker.- Do-Hyoung Park (@dohyoungpark) November 28, 2015
And if he's that highly sought after by such an esteemed university, who's to say he couldn't enjoy a nice second act as an adjuct professor somewhere teaching courses like Baseball Economics or Sports Marketing?
Obviously he'd need to fill his wardrobe with elbow-patched sport coats, but we trust that he'd be able to pull it off.
Anyone who's ever tried explaining FIP or ERA+ to their grandparents can attest to the fact that baseball is a language in and of itself. And if baseball is a language, A-Rod is whatever's five steps beyond fluent. When the Yankees acquired shortstop Didi Gregorius as the heir apparent following Derek Jeter's retirement, Ken Rosenthal asked A-Rod what he thought of his new teammate:
It's like that quote came straight out of a "Trouble With the Curve" rewrite. The truth here is that regardless of what A-Rod chooses to do with retirement, this is definitive proof that he'll always be, at any time, within shouting distance of a ballfield.
Video game magnate
Question: Did you know that professional video gaming is a burgeoning industry called "E-sports"?
Follow-up question: Did you know that Rodriguez co-owns an E-sports team with Shaquille O'Neal?
E-Sports are getting serious in the next few years:- Alexander Wende (@AlexWende) March 18, 2016
Shaq And A-Rod Bought Into A League Of Legends Team https://t.co/Tr9laO1YnK
That's right, with all their forces combined, A-Rod and Shaq are trying to be the George Steinbrenner of video games. If he's able to devote 100 percent of his energy toward honing his craft, expect him to grow a "League of Legends" dynasty or perennial "Rocket League" champions.
A-Rod's spent nearly all of his adult life in an MLB dugout. He can hit, he can field, he had some serious baserunning skills once upon a time. He speaks the language, he talks the talk and walks the walk. He won a World Series with the 2009 Yankees and played on 12 postseason teams. There's no reason to think that A-Rod couldn't successfully shepherd a clubhouse full of MLB players to the postseason and beyond.
Plus, just think about how much fun it would be to see A-Rod kick dirt on a plate after a strike-three call, or to see him throw first base into right field while arguing an out call in the middle of an August losing streak. Hey, we can dream, right?