Andrelton Simmons catches Bryce Harper too far off first, Harper responds by going yard (twice)

Much as a young, brash Luke Skywalker required relentless training from Yoda in order to truly harness his prodigious gifts, so too did the gloriously hair-on-fire Bryce Harper stand to learn something from the calm, cool, freakish omnipotence of Andrelton Simmons -- who, really, could reveal himself to be a Jedi tomorrow and no one would be particularly surprised, right? Behold, the baseball equivalent of watching a tiny green guy pilfer your dinner.

During Friday night's Braves-Nationals game, Harper hit a single and, like so many of the grand heroes of yore, flew just a liiiiittle bit close to the sun -- and promptly got gunned down by a howitzer:

But as you may remember, Luke did eventually lift that X-Wing, and he turned out to be kind of a big deal. On an entirely unrelated note, here's Bryce Harper's next at-bat: 

... and the at-bat after that:

May the force be with you, Bryce. And please have mercy.