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Bartolo Colon tried to break reality as he blasted a 108-mph laser beam for a single

Here's a word problem for you: If the Earth spins at roughly 1,000 mph, and it takes a DeLorean traveling 88 mph to go back in time, and Bartolo Colon exists outside of time as an eternal being, what happens when Bartolo Colon hits a line drive at 108.4 mph? 

If you thought, "This question is so confusing and raises many metaphysical questions that require an advanced understanding of quantum physics that I don't even know how to begin," then you, too, realize the gravity of this situation.

For in the fifth inning of the Mets' matchup against the Marlins on Saturday, Colon did his best to break reality like a one-man CERN accelerator with this 108.4-mph liner. 

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Based on the fact that the Earth is still spinning and we've yet to see transdimensional beings emerging from a tear in the space-time continuum, we have to assume that Colon was unsuccessful. But given that this is his hardest-hit ball by 6 miles-per-hour and it's only a matter of time before Colon smashes one at 120, 130, 140 -- maybe even 500 mph. After all, you didn't expect him to hit a home run this year either, did you? 

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