Bryce Harper hit his first home run of 2014 and it's probably still in orbit

With Yasiel Puig sitting out thanks to a sore thumb, baseball's version of the old guys in The Muppets Show have been able to rededicate their lives to pointing out that Washington Nationals outfielder Bryce Harper has been off to a S L O W start. Like, really slow.

Harper was batting just .192 with no dingers and no RBIs heading into Wednesday night's game against the Marlins. His OPS+ was a staggering zero (oof) and he had only one walk to show for his troubles.

Then, he stepped up to bat in the bottom of the fourth and launched a ball so deep into the night that it might orbit the Earth and come back around to wreck the outside of Sandra Bullock's space station. (+1 for the topical Gravity reference? No? OK.)

There were two ducks on the pond when Harper's lunar shot landed in the upper deck, erasing the goose eggs on his stat sheet and in the Nats portion of the box score. Welcome to the 2014 season, Bryce Harper. *Commence slow clap*