Ian Desmond clears the bleachers with 477-foot dinger, may have broken Bryce Harper's brain

No doubt continuing his campaign to embiggen the youth of America with his feats of grandeur, Ian Desmond went deep on Saturday against the Giants. Like, way, way deep. Seriously, somebody please check on the hot dog vendors to make sure they're OK:

Statcast™ tracked that thing at 477 feet (!), making it the 8th-longest projected home run distance of the year and perhaps the only one to threaten a giant glass Coke bottle. The blast even managed to impress teammate and master of dinger-mashing Bryce Harper, who gave voice to a bewildered nation:

We don't know either, Bryce. We can only hope Desmond chooses to use his power for good.