Let's build an MLB lineup that also doubles as a delicious Thanksgiving feast
There are plenty of ways to add some baseball to your Thanksgiving. You can craft your entire meal using only recipes from MLB greats. You can embrace truly shameless wordplay. If you're lucky, you can even make a heartfelt plea for Adam Jones to stop by (as long as he brings some pie).
This year, though, we're going to do something different: We've created a full lineup of Major League stars ... which also happens to double as a full Thanksgiving feast. If we left off any of your favorites -- or if you're aware of a baseball player named "gravy" -- please let us know in the comments.
C: Yam Yaryan
In addition to owning one of the most awe-inspiring and alliterative names in baseball history, Yaryan spent two years as a backstop for the White Sox in the 1920s. And if you prefer sweeter yams, you can always bat him behind Candy Maldonado.
1B: Ham Hyatt
Sure, turkey is the official meat of Thanksgiving -- but sometimes, it's good to change things up a bit (or to just put as much protein as possible on the table). And in those moments, we turn to Hyatt, who spent the majority of his seven-year big league career with the Pirates.
2B: Cookie Rojas
Dessert variety is an important part of any Thanksgiving meal, and in that spirit, we've added some cookies into our lineup. Rojas was a five-time All-Star with both the Phillies and Royals, and also happens to be the starting second baseman for MLB's All-Bespectacled Team:
3B: Pie Traynor
Dessert variety may be important on Thanksgiving, but pie is essential. Harold Traynor -- who got the nickname as a kid because he always ordered pie after neighborhood baseball games -- hit .320 and won a World Series during his 17 years with the Pirates and later became a radio personality in Pittsburgh.
SS: Pumpsie Green(s)
A surehanded infielder for the Mets and Red Sox, Green brings some defense to the diamond and some sorely-needed nutritional value to our meal.
LF: Turkey Stearnes
No less than Satchel Paige once dubbed him "one of the greatest hitters [the Negro Leagues] ever had." Stearnes got the nickname "Turkey" because of the odd way he ran, but it clearly didn't hurt the Hall of Famer too much: Over a 20-year career spent mostly with the Detroit Stars, he slashed a jaw-dropping .344/.396/.618.
(Of course, if you'd prefer some turducken this Thanksgiving, might we suggest platooning him with Joe "Ducky" Medwick and, our personal favorite, Chicken Wolf?)
CF: Willie Mays/Maize
Hey, we already mentioned we're not above shameless wordplay. Plus, even the flimsiest excuse to watch Willie Mays highlights is valid:
RF: Damian Rolls
Rolls spent five years with the Rays, which we're mostly mentioning here so we can make it seem as though some pieces of bread became sentient and started playing baseball. To take things to the next level, platoon him with former pitcher Tom Butters.
SP: Spud Chandler
Spurgeon Ferdinand Chandler -- no, seriously, that was his full given name -- was the ace of the dominant Yankees teams of the 1930s and '40s, winning AL MVP in '43 and helping New York to three World Series titles during his career. And while we prefer mashed, scalloped or gratin are also acceptable.
RP: Hap Collard
Collard spent three years as a reliever with the Indians and Phillies in the 1920s, which is good, because we'll need some relief after all those carbs.