This teenager could not have been more embarrassed by her dancing Cubs fan dad

Being a teenager is hard work. You're in a nonstop losing battle against homework, acne and, worst of all, mortifyingly embarrassing parents. Usually this embarrassment is done in close quarters, where the shame can be contained. But, sometimes, like at a popular sporting event, this shame is captured by television cameras and broadcast to millions.
That's what happened to this poor girl whose father tried to floss during the Cubs' 9-1 win against the D-backs on Tuesday -- despite the fact that literally no human over the age of 18 is able to do the dance. 

He looks less like backpack kid than he does one of the shambling zombies from a George A. Romero film. 
He even tried a new dance, but that was no better: 

Parents just don't understand.