Dallas Keuchel gave a heckler a ball inscribed with the perfect comeback
You remember what Bambi taught us (other than the essential bleakness of life) - if you can't find something nice to say, don't say anything at all. But there may be an exception for fans at Major League ballparks. Last month, Brandon Phillips gave a group of hecklers a signed ball, and during Thursday's Astros-A's game, Dallas Keuchel followed suit.
Does that mean Thumper was wrong? If we can't say anything nice, should we yell something mean until we get our own souvenirs? Not unless you're willing to take them with a bit of a burn:
Just remember, hecklers, no one pays you to be a jerk.
h/t: Hardball Talk