Eddie Rosario swats pitch near his chin for homer, announces himself as King of the Bad-Ball Hitters

For as long as there have been pitches that miss the strike zone badly, there have been intrepid batters who dare to hit them anyway. Vladimir Guerrero was once the leader of this ragtag bunch -- legend has it that, as a Minor Leaguer, he once went yard on a ball that bounced in the dirt, and he's been known to do things like this: 

Vlad inspired a legion of acolytes, men whose plate discipline could most succintcly be described as, "Nope." But in the years since his retirement, there has been a vacuum at the top. Those dreaming of smacking any and every pitch have been left without that beacon of hope with which to guide themselves.

In this time of darkness -- when baseball fans are hardly ever forced to ask themselves: "Was that an actual swing, or was he just trying to swat a fly?" -- the world needs a hero. The world needs Twins left fielder Eddie Rosario: 

You know the old maxim: The closer it is to your head, the easier it is to see, right? Minnesota went on to beat the Indians, 4-1, and that was just the seventh dinger of the year for Rosario. So we think the moral here is clear: Just keep swinging at anything and everything, and the Baseball Gods will surely reward you.