Fan breaks sacred oath to society by spilling his beer, Mark Teixeira disapproves
Without beer, there would be no civilization. According to the documentary "How Beer Saved the World," it was humankind's taste for beer and not bread 90,000 years that lead to the agricultural revolution. So the next time you're quaffing a frosty brew, remember that the beer is not just for your own enjoyment, but for the betterment of society as a whole.
While trying to catch a foul ball down the first base line on Thursday night, one fan broke that sacred chain when he spilled his beer all over his friend's back. Because that fan didn't just lose 16 ounces of liquid gold -- that fan spilled thousands of years of barley and hops cultivation, hundreds of thousands of hours of flavor and fermentation research and millions of molecules that each worked in perfect harmony to create the product that we call "Beer."
Even Mark Teixeira couldn't draw himself away from the horror of what transpired.
So please, baseball fans, hold your beers tight. Because when you spill it, you're not just spilling one beer, you're spilling every beer that's ever been made.