Clayton Kershaw strikes out batter with a curveball that bent space and time

For all that he's accomplished in his career -- and he's accomplished a lot -- the St. Louis Cardinals have been the one summit Clayton Kershaw couldn't quite climb: the Redbirds have handed the reigning National League MVP and Cy Young winner four straight postseason losses, often in iconic fashion. 

But Saturday saw Kershaw back on the mound against his dramatic foil, and he wasted no time -- turning an early Pete Kozma at-bat into a demonic underworld full of sadness and curveballs that bend the laws of physics. 

Take heed: Abandon all hope, ye who enter the batter's box against Clayton Kershaw. You probably won't like him when he's angry:

Kershaw would go on to throw eight innings of one-hit ball, striking out eleven in a 2-0 Dodgers win, but we'd like to offer the real victory to Kozma for remaining upright and calmly walking to the dugout after taking a pitch that would've left an average human being in a heap on the ground.