Nolan Arenado is a baseball magician, turns no outs into two
Don't be afraid! Come and step right up, baseball players of all ages and sizes! See if you can defeat the Great Arenado. See if you can get a baseball past the man with hands of silk, range of a cheetah and throwing arm that defies the gods and makes the heavens weep.
Ahh, yes, thank you for volunteering. What's your name? Casey McGehee of the San Francisco Giants? Well, thank you, Casey. Perhaps you will be the first to defeat the Catch King of Coors.
Now, as you can see, this is just an ordinary baseball, right? Nothing strange or different about it, just leather and stitching. And these bases, they're all real too. And the two runners on base -- they are simply fellow baseball volunteers like you, sir. In fact, they've never even met the Great Arenado before, have they? No, no, of course not.
Ready to see if you can hit this ball past the Great One? Shouldn't be too hard, after all, you're a big, strong strapping man. It should be easy to hit this puny, little, completely normal baseball past the Wizard of Web Gems, right?
Of course, that's right. So just step right up. And, just tell the audience, there are zero outs, correct? We're not hiding anything here, right? Of course not. Now, take a swing and see if you can defeat the Legend of Leather.
And just like that -- poof, no outs were turned into two.
Sorry, Mr. McGehee. There are no refunds. Better luck next time.