Padres fan wants to show off his souvenir, gets bonked on the head for his hubris
You may find yourself at a baseball game, the elated new owner of a real, game-used baseball. You may feel a sense of pride coarse through you as you gaze upon your newfound bounty. You may marvel at how close you feel to your childhood heroes, holding a piece of history.
You may feel all of these things, but take heed: Think carefully before you act on this impulse, and remember that all honor and glory be unto the Baseball Gods, who do not appreciate being neglected in favor of your hubris. Give them their due, lest you end up like this poor soul from Friday's Dodgers-Padres game:
Embarrassing? Sure. Making us desperately wish we had a full variety of sound effects to deploy? We will neither confirm nor deny.
But however far downhill this may have slid, we hope this fan takes comfort in the fact that, much like Icarus flying toward the sun, he was on top of the world for one glorious moment.