Phanatic stars in abridged 'Nutcracker' ballet, defeats Mouse King in battle

You're familiar with everyone's favorite Christmas ballet (favorite by default -- there aren't a lot of Christmas ballets): Aided by a little girl named Clara, a Nutcracker Soldier defeats the Mouse King and everyone gets to hang out with the Sugar Plum Fairy.

But did you know there's an alternate version that takes closer to two minutes than two acts? The Phillies shared their staging of the classic ballet during Sunday's Christmas in July celebration, starring everyone's favorite premier danseur:

Instead of throwing a slipper at the Mouse King, like Clara does in the Tchaikovsky original, the Phanatic opts for his generally successful "look-over-there/punch-to-the-back-of-the-head" combo -- though we're a bit surprised it worked this time, since the Mouse King appears to be able to see in all directions at all times:

And instead of the "Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairies," there's the "ATV Drive of the Triumphant Phanatic," in which the Nutcracker and the Phanatic ride off into the sunset. We're sure the music was similarly stirring.