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Everything Phillies fans need to know about their team's newest acquisition, Carlos Santana

After a relatively quiet few days at the Winter Meetings, a major free-agent domino fell on Friday: The Phillies have reportedly signed former Indians first baseman Carlos Santana to a three-year, $60 million deal.

Santana has played just nine games against the Phillies in his eight-year career, so the City of Brotherly Love might not be too familiar with its new big bat. That's why we've assembled the following guide to help Philadelphians get acquainted. 

He's an on-base machine

While you might not expect a first baseman with 30-homer power to be particularly patient at the plate, Santana's always been the exception: He's never posted an on-base percentage lower than .350, and he's twice walked more than 100 times in a season. He even got the best of Matt Shoemaker, who was working on a streak of 49 consecutive strikeouts without allowing a base on balls:

He has a truly elite Instagram presence

Here he is hanging with Albert Pujols at Edwin Encarnacion's wedding. Here are his extremely adorable kids. And, most importantly, here he is sitting atop a massive pumpkin with Josh Tomlin:

 

He's Mr. Consistent

He might not get as much attention as baseball's top sluggers, but Santana has quietly been one of the most reliable bats in the big leagues during his career. Don't believe us? Here's a complete list of his season-long OPS+ totals: 143, 126, 121, 135, 122, 102, 123, 112. No matter what, he's going to get on base and hit 20-30 homers a year. Oh, and he's clutch, too:

He's a great teammate

The Indians had arguably the highest rate of dugout shenanigans in the league last year, and Santana was a big reason why. What better way to endear yourself to a new manager than with an elaborate pregame ritual?

Santana

What better way to boost clubhouse morale than with your fantastic dance moves?

Santana

And, crucially, he knew how to take a joke:

Santana

He comes complete with an excellent nickname

It just rolls off the tongue: Slamtana. 

 

 

It's a Smooth signing

Look, we were contractually obligated to work a Carlos Santana joke in here. His new bench coach's name is Rob Thomson, for goodness sake.