Joba Chamberlain got rid of his beard and we're inconsolable about it
Friends and loved ones,
Today we are gathered here to mourn the loss of that most splendid and wonderful specimen, that glorious and magnificent symbol of American identity: Joba Chamberlain's beard.
On Monday night, the Tigers righty tweeted a picture of himself sans majestic facial hair:
8 months. It's been a good ride. pic.twitter.com/LtyFxp1WC0- Joba Chamberlain (@Joba_44) October 7, 2014
Though it was only with us for a brief time, the beard changed our lives in thousands of ways. For example, it saved Chamberlain money on razors. So, that's one thing.
And now, in brief remembrance, the best of the beard:
Let's all raise our glasses and pour a little out in its honor. Except for Joba, because he no longer has anything with which to soak up liquids: