SpongeBob batting against Roy Halladay? Sure.

As far as we're concerned the Doug Funny-Tommy Pickles era of Nicktoons was a pinnacle that will never be topped.

Quailman, Spike, The Beets ... There's no way these new super-computerized toons can live up to that legacy -- even if SpongeBob, Fanboy and Chum Chum are now challenging a roster of Major Leaguers on Wii and X-Box.

Evan Longoria wishes he could rake like Jack Bandit.