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Giancarlo Stanton makes mockery of fences with a 478-foot home run

On Friday night, following another monster blast from Giancarlo Stanton, a secret conclave of pitchers came together and suggested a number of rule changes just for the Marlins slugger. They read as follows: 

1. The fences will measure 450 feet at the corners and 550 feet in center when he steps to the plate. 

2. Stanton has to swing using a promotional mini-bat. 

3. Even then, his home runs will only count as half a run. Because, c'mon, baseball should be fair. 

Until these rules are ratified and put in place, pitchers will just have to put up with Stanton absolutely smashing dingers. Against the Rockies on Friday, Stanton came to the plate against Eddie Butler and deposited his slider 478 feet away into the stands, according to Statcast™. 

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While the right fielder's average is down this season, it hasn't had an effect on his tied-for-the-league-lead homer total of 18. After all, 10 of his last 16 hits have been of the over-the-fence variety. Stanton also has eight home runs in only 15 career Coors Field games. 

Yeah, those rules better be put in place soon -- for the psychological safety of pitchers, if nothing else.