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Starting Nine: Extra Grand

Many things are happening -- on Cut4, in baseball and out there in the rest of the world. Here are nine you need to know about today:

1. Jordany Valdespin says 10 innings are plenty
It took 10 frames to decide this one, but the Mets took down the Dodgers on Valdespan's walk-off grand slam. Matt Harvey allowed three runs in six innings after allowing three in his previous four starts, proving that he's just human like the rest of us.

2. National lampoon
The Nationals are on a skid, dropping three straight to the Cardinals after losing two of three to the Mets over the weekend. Washington is 10-11 and Stephen Strasburg is somehow 1-4 on the season despite allowing only five earned runs in his last three starts combined.

3. Papa Grande's back
Jose Valverde didn't wait long to make his mark on the season, notching a save in his very first appearance after re-signing with the Tigers. If you'd like to see Victor Martinez give up on scoring halfway between third and home, click right here.

4. You don't get to pick your own nickname.
But we get to pick them for you. The Cut4 staff picked nicknames for baseball players they wish would catch on. Do us a favor and use them as much as humanly possible. We'll repay you in retweets.

5. March of the Penguins
Penguins took over the Rays clubhouse and we can't handle it at all. We've already asked our bosses to let us have some work penguins too. They said no. We said, "but the Rays went on to shut out the Yankees!" They still said no.

6. Pizza Pizza
LaRosa's makes really, really good pizza. The Reds have a really, really good pitching staff. Unfortunately for LaRosa's, that latter fact is costing them $100,000 in free 'zas.

7. Ian Desmond is a really good person who plays baseball
Howard Megdal says Ian Desmond is the one of best shortstops in baseball. After reading his piece over at Sports on Earth, we're inclined to agree with him.

8. I'm done with it.
Kevin Durant is a really good basketball player. Sadly, LeBron James is a better basketball player. Kevin Durant isn't happy about that, as you can see on this week's fiery cover of Sports Illustrated.

9. I'm Ellen
SNL's Kate McKinnon does a pretty great impression of Ellen Degeneres, which, well, we didn't think that was even possible. Evidently it is, and when McKinnon went on Ellen's talk show, the two got along famously.

-- Cut4 Staff