You have never felt anything as deeply as this young Pirates fan
You've never felt anything as deeply as this Bucs fan
In the future, as robots grow more powerful and plot to take over the world, they'll need to know how to approximate human emotion. You know, so they can more successfully hide amongst us before crushing our bones in their powerful steel jaws.
Chances are, they're going to use this young Pirates fan as their source material for the wide spectrum of human feeling. Because no one has ever felt so much in such a small period of time.
After the Pirates took a 5-4 lead over the Nationals going into the bottom of the 9th on Sunday, it looked like Pittsburgh's four-game losing streak was going to be history. But the Nationals mounted a comeback. And this fan wasn't very happy.
After Jayson Werth walked to put the tying run on base in the bottom of the 9th:
Emotion: Stewing anger and resentment
Likely thought: "I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. In who all of you are as people. But again, I'm not mad."
And when Denard Span singled Werth over to third:
Emotion: Confused despair
Likely thought: "I don't? What is? How did I get here?"
He still wasn't over that Denard Span hit:
Emotion: Deep bone frustration
Intensity Level: 10
Likely thought: "I always knew the world was unfair. I just didn't know it'd be such a steaming pile of *&%$ along the way."
He was able to bounce back briefly when Adam LaRoche struck out to send the game to extra innings:
Emotion: Raw excitement.
Likely thought: "YEAAAAAAAAAAAAH! YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! EVERYTHING WAS BEAUTIFUL AND NOTHING HURT!"
Sadly, this young child soon learned that joy is only temporary. Because in the 11th inning, Jayson Werth, who started this whole emotional malestrom, scored the winning run on a sacrifice fly from Scott Hairston. The game was now over.
Emotion: A moment of hope exstinguished by exisistential despair
Likely thought: "It appeared to me with such clarity, the whole of existence blooming before me. Nothing matters. Not once and not ever."