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Allow Vin Scully to present the complete history of beards, from the Bible to Lincoln

Befitting a man whose career has spanned 11 different presidencies, Vin Scully has taught us a lot over the years -- from the not-so-unlucky nature of the number 13 to the surprisingly compelling history of the American flag. And yet, through it all, one subject has captivated him above all: beards. Namely, the beard invasion that has conquered baseball. 

Just last year, while gazing upon Dale Thayer's luscious mane, Scully crafted an ode in honor of all the facial hair around him. And on Saturday, with the Padres back in town to face the Dodgers, he decided to go one further -- in the top of the second inning, he provided us all with a remarkably thorough history of the beard.

The story began at the dawn of humanity, when beards were developed both to attract partners and intimidate possible predators -- as Scully points out, both Leviticus and Deuteronomy included divine mandates for beards. That all changed, however, starting with Alexander the Great:

Alexander the Great was not only great, but he also thought he was the greatest looking man in the world. Oh, absolutely. And Alexander the Great said, 'There's no reason to cover up my beautiful face with a beard.' And so, all of a sudden, it started to disappear.

If you'd like to hear more of Vin Scully's History Hour -- and, let's be serious, of course you do -- simply click play on the video above. It continues on for several minutes, winding through antiquity all the way past Lincoln and into very serious questions of facial hair constitutionality. Vin Scully today, Vin Scully tomorrow, Vin Scully forever.