Adam Wainwright and Felix Hernandez named NL and AL starting pitchers

Like every Hardy Boys novel ever released, not only was The Mystery of Which Pitchers Would Start The 2014 All-Star Game solved on Monday, but it was wrapped up quite satisfactorily. 

For the National League side, manager Mike Matheny selected Adam Wainwright to start the game. Tied for the league lead with 12 victories and second in ERA with 1.83, the three-time All-Star finally gets to cross All-Star game starter off his bucket list. Next up: shave a coconut, I guess. 

But before we move on, how about that curveball? That delicious, delirious curveball. 

In the AL, John Farrell selected Felix Hernandez to take the mound, his 2.12 ERA, 9.6 K/9 and 1.6 BB/9 all career bests. Yes, that's right, after 10 dominating years in the league, Hernandez is somehow getting better.

Is he not actually a human being, but a robot sent here by a future race of aliens that are amassing all the data necessary to completely destroy humanity? (Maybe.)

But batters shouldn't relax after they face Wainwright and Hernandez. After all, then they've got Kershaw, Greinke, Bumgarner, Lester, Scherzer, Kazmir, etc. etc. etc. ad infinitum.