The Mets' mustache mania may just be the work of 'four independent dudes'
The following is a transcript of a segment from this week's episode of the Cut4Cast podcast. To hear more of the Cut4 staff's weekly banterings about which position player is the best at pitching or how baseball would work in outer space, subscribe to the Cut4Cast by clicking here.
Gemma Kaneko: So, one thing that we've noticed is that there's sort of a facial hair creep going around [Mets camp]. Just mustaches appearing everywhere we look. Do you know whose idea it was to grow the mustaches?
Anthony DiComo: You know, I don't think it was any one person's idea. I think this was a little overblown, and here's why: I feel like dudes in the wintertime, of a certain age, just kind of grow facial hair because they're bored. And I feel like you had these four independent dudes who just did that, and then they got to camp and they were like, "Oh, well why don't we just turn this into mustaches?" And then they did. That's just what dudes do. They grow facial hair because they can.
Gemma: But is it an activity -- like, "Oh, I'm so bored, let me just sit here and concentrate on growing my beard?"
Anthony: No, they're not sitting in a chair just squeezing out mustache hairs. I think they're like, "Oh, well I'm not going to be on camera for a month, maybe I should just not shave."
Gemma: Oh, so now is the time to do the soul patch. I see, I see.
Anthony: Yeah. Like, shaving takes, I don't know, a solid 60 seconds of effort if you're gonna do that every day or every other day. So why not just not do it and concentrate your efforts on something else?
Gemma: Yeah, you could spend that whole minute, I don't know, practicing catching bats with one hand.
Anthony: Do you know how many sharks you can catch in a minute?
Gemma: I watched that entire fishing video. And I'm gonna say zero sharks in one minute. That took a long time.
Steven Matz (@Smatz88) February 21, 2017
Anthony: No, but you can catch a portion of a shark and then you round up.
Gemma: I see, so all the time that was spent catching that shark is because of no shaving.
Anthony: I'm just saying, it's possible.
Gemma: All right. This beard math I find very questionable. But I'll take your word for it, because I do not grow facial hair. So I can't really say that I know.
Anthony: Beard math is the best math.
Gemma: Well, whose mustache is the best mustache? Do you have any feelings about that?
Anthony: Um, I'm gonna go ahead … I think deGrom's was the best.
Gemma: All right!
Anthony: Syndergaard's got the whole Thor thing going on. Gsellman's got really long hair. I don't know, I just feel like deGrom -- he's from Florida, so he's got that kind of Florida Man thing going on to begin with, and he has a shampoo deal I think. But in a way, his flow, it's just -- I don't know, I think the mustache and the hair combination, and the really skinny guy and everything, it makes me laugh a little bit. I'm sad he shaved it.
To hear more about the Mets' facial hair and to learn the secrets behind Syndergaard's tweets, listen to the Cut4Cast here.