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Pursue your dreams as passionately as these pitchers swing the bat

We've hit late September, and naturally, things are tight. Every day brings a new game with postseason implications, full of dramatic dingers and harrowing escapes. It's tremendous, but it's also ... extremely stressful.  

So, before the pennant race reaches its conclusion, we wanted spotlight one last regular season eccentricity: Pitchers swinging very, very poorly. Because if anything can help you locate your zen, it's a Bartolo Colon plate appearance.

Dellin Betances

Betances hadn't swung a bat in a game since high school, but that didn't stop him from going big -- and channeling some Gary Sheffield bat waggle:

Masahiro Tanaka

There's an unspoken pact between pitchers that, when facing their counterpart at the plate, they'll take it a little easy and stick to fastballs. So you can forgive Tanaka for thinking that this Gio Gonzalez offering would keep going straight:

Tanaka

Cardinals Minor Leaguer Conner Greene

At last, an answer to the philosophical query, "If, after years of dreaming and hard work, you finally got the chance to hit in a professional game, just how hard would you swing?"

Greene

Bartolo Colon

No list like this could be complete without a little Bartolo -- even if he's in the AL now:

Colon

Freddy Peralta

Of course, Bartolo isn't the only one in danger of losing his helmet:

Peralta

Jose Urena

Forcing other pitchers to try to hit Chris Sale's slider should be illegal:

Urena

Mike Foltynewicz

Folty's turned himself into an NL Cy Young dark horse this season. But even more importantly, he's among the game's most amusing at-bats. It's as though he's crafting an interpretation of a Mission Impossible helicopter chase:

Folty

Chris Archer

Sometimes you just need to lie down:

Archer