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On Snooki's Retirement from Professional Wrestling

"Say it ain't so, Snook…say it ain't so."

I am a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan…although I think he is getting a little needy with the whole, "Gimme a HELL YEAH!" thing. I always looked up to Hulk Hogan when he told me, "Eat your vitamins, brother!" I was grounded for 2 weeks for leaping off our living room couch on to my younger brother Paulie while screaming, "SUPER FLY JIMMY SNUKA!"

Today was a sad, sad day in the world of sports entertainment. I just may send a nice fruit basket to Vince McMahon. For on this day, ladies and gentlemen, the WWE learned that Nicole "Super Fly Snooki" will retire from the great sport of professional wrestling.

I, for one, am crushed. I want to find the pint sized, fist pumping, "gorilla" seeking author and ask, "Say it ain't so, Snook…say it ain't so."

This was a match made in heaven. The WWE could have been the bridge to bigger things! Snooki could have been an action star a la The Rock. She could have become the Governor of a state like Jesse "The Body" Ventura. She could have become a troubled reality star like Hulk Hogan…ok, she has that covered… but still, a new world was there for the taking and she turned her back on it like that.

Now, as I sit here watching the rain fall in New York I am left with a small glimmer of hope that Snooki will return to the WWE after some time away like The Rock and Stone Cold. Maybe, just maybe, she'll return to the ring in a blaze of glitter, bronzer and really complicated-to-lace-up heels. There is always a chance.

I envision a group of spectators sitting in the stands at a third rate wrestling match in Hoboken, NJ years from now, similar to the closing scene in "Eight Men Out". They watch a gifted but aging little wrestler giving her all in the ring. One fan says with confidence, "That's her, it's Super Fly Snooki."

Another fan, with a striking resemblance to JWoww, says, "Naw, those kids are all gone now," as she stares off into the distance with misty eyes.

And then, the final shot of Snooki standing on the top rope in all her glory. She pauses for a second and grins as we fade to black.

Think it over, Snook….think it over.

I am a Stone Cold Steve Austin fan…although I think he is getting a little needy with the whole, "Gimme a HELL YEAH!" thing. I always looked up to Hulk Hogan when he told me, "Eat your vitamins, brother!" I was grounded for 2 weeks for leaping off our living room couch on to my younger brother Paulie while screaming, "SUPER FLY JIMMY SNUKA!"

Today was a sad, sad day in the world of sports entertainment. I just may send a nice fruit basket to Vince McMahon. For on this day, ladies and gentlemen, the WWE learned that Nicole "Super Fly Snooki" will retire from the great sport of professional wrestling.

I, for one, am crushed. I want to find the pint sized, fist pumping, "gorilla" seeking author and ask, "Say it ain't so, Snook…say it ain't so."

This was a match made in heaven. The WWE could have been the bridge to bigger things! Snooki could have been an action star a la The Rock. She could have become the Governor of a state like Jesse "The Body" Ventura. She could have become a troubled reality star like Hulk Hogan…ok, she has that covered… but still, a new world was there for the taking and she turned her back on it like that.

Now, as I sit here watching the rain fall in New York I am left with a small glimmer of hope that Snooki will return to the WWE after some time away like The Rock and Stone Cold. Maybe, just maybe, she'll return to the ring in a blaze of glitter, bronzer and really complicated-to-lace-up heels. There is always a chance.

I envision a group of spectators sitting in the stands at a third rate wrestling match in Hoboken, NJ years from now, similar to the closing scene in "Eight Men Out". They watch a gifted but aging little wrestler giving her all in the ring. One fan says with confidence, "That's her, it's Super Fly Snooki."

Another fan, with a striking resemblance to JWoww, says, "Naw, those kids are all gone now," as she stares off into the distance with misty eyes.

And then, the final shot of Snooki standing on the top rope in all her glory. She pauses for a second and grins as we fade to black.

Think it over, Snook….think it over.