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Andrew McCutchen now believes in teleportation

Either that or he's married to Superwoman
@CF_Larue
January 13, 2020

It is often in times of alarm, stress or danger that we are forced to dig deep and discover our true selves and perhaps do things we had no idea we were capable of. We hear tales of normal people finding the strength to lift cars to save a loved

It is often in times of alarm, stress or danger that we are forced to dig deep and discover our true selves and perhaps do things we had no idea we were capable of. We hear tales of normal people finding the strength to lift cars to save a loved one trapped underneath. If that's truly possible, there's no telling what we're each capable of.

Over the weekend, Phillies outfielder Andrew McCutchen found himself in a state of alarm when his home burglary system went off in the middle of the night. While he responded to the situation admirably, it was his wife Maria who rose to the situation and pushed the limits of human possibility. To make a long story short, Cutch thinks she's capable of teleportation now.

Thankfully, the incident was nothing more than a false alarm caused by a particularly strong gust of wind, so no one was in any actual danger despite what it must have felt like in the moment.

But there was an upside to that terrifying scene at the McCutchen residence: We learned that human teleportation is within the realm of possibility. Or, maybe Maria is just Superwoman. Either way, that's a pretty cool development on an otherwise normal January weekend evening.

Eric Chesterton is a writer for MLB.com. He is an appreciator of the stolen base, the bunt against the shift and nearly every unconventional uniform design. He eagerly awaits Jamie Moyer's inevitable comeback.