David Ortiz tosses around a few post-baseball plans in a new SportsCenter ad

David Ortiz is retiring after this season. Yes, we know, it's sad. But if this new SportsCenter ad is at all accurate, he'll still be around -- perhaps as the mastermind behind your new favorite treat, "Papi-cicles." Or maybe "Papi's Fritas?" Watch him toss out a few more post-baseball career ideas below:

Please note what he seems to have crossed out on one of his lists:

Big Puppy?! Why is this crossed out? We're not really sure what this would entail, exactly, but we know that any combination of Ortiz and dogs is good:

Also in the rejected pile for some reason? "David Or-tees," which would presumably just make t-shirts with Papi's face on them, "Papirika," in case Ortiz wants to go the Paul Newman route with Hungarian spices and "Papicorn," which would probably be popcorn covered in Papirika and not a Big Papi/unicorn stuffed animal, but we can dream.