Before the Marlins go full babyface, remember some of the best facial hair in franchise history
Spring Training is underway and -- for the Marlins -- that means there's officially a new sheriff in town. Former Dodgers manager and longtime Yankees great Don Mattingly will be at the helm for the Fish this year, and one of the first decisions he's made is that his players will be baby-faced.
That's right, folks. Mattingly -- who once upon a time could have beaten Ned Flanders in a Ned Flanders lookalike contest -- has issued a mandate that all of the Marlins players go sans facial hair this season.
The move is an ironic one, considering that Donnie Baseball was once benched on the Yankees for refusing to cut his hair (which was foretold in the iconic "Simpsons" episode, "Homer at the Bat").
Mattingly said that his issue back then was that the grooming rules weren't enforced equally in the clubhouse. He also assured that the same wouldn't be the case with the Marlins this season.
Either way, it appears that Marlins' facial hair, for the time being, is now a thing of the past. And rather than mourn such a loss, we'd like to celebrate the time we shared together by remembering some of the most impressive, interesting and iconic instances of facial hair in the franchise's history. Take it away, Boyz II Men.
Antonio Alfonseca
You probably forgot, but Alfonseca received NL MVP votes in 2000 when he closed 45 games for the Marlins. Alfonseca pitched in relief for six seasons in Miami, and did so with hair on his chinny-chin-chin.
Josh Beckett
We're sorry, did we say "Josh Beckett?" We meant "World Series MVP Josh Beckett." Beckett earned that World Series MVP by striking out nine while shutting out the Yankees in Game 6 of the '03 Fall Classic, while sporting the same kind of goatee you'd see on a bassist in a late-'90s alt-rock band. Long live the goatee!
Jim Leyland
With that mustache and those aqua uniforms, Leyland just looked like a dude who wanted to take you out on his boat to listen to Jimmy Buffett and fish all day. Thankfully for Marlins fans, he opted to manage the Fish instead, leading them to their first World Series championship in 1997.
Mike Lowell
Lowell rocks a dad goatee like no one's ever rocked a dad goatee before. Over seven seasons with the Marlins, Lowell hit .272, made three All-Star teams and helped the team to that '03 Commissioner's Trophy. If you stare at that goatee too long, you might end up grounded.
Kevin Mattison
This mustache belongs in a museum for everyone to admire for all eternity. And with the other impressive iterations of Mattison's facial hair, the guy could occupy a whole wing of such an institution. Let's make this happen. (Mattison made a brief appearance for the 2012 Marlins and has been bouncing between different Triple-A affiliates for the past couple of seasons.)
Marcell Ozuna
Last season Ozuna was pullin' off the full-blown Abe Lincoln look and it was absolutely glorious. If anything, maybe shaving off the beard will make him more aerodynamic and add to his torque at the plate, which is already pretty impressive considering that Statcast clocked him with the 24th highest average exit velocity in MLB last season at 93.1 mph.
Brad Penny
Back when Penny was wearing a chin strap, he posted a 14-10 record for the '03 Marlins and capped that season off by earning the win in Game 7 of the infamous NLCS against the Cubs and winning two games in the World Series. You don't see many guys rockin' the chin strap these days. Also, whatever happened to the rapper Everlast from House of Pain?
Gary Sheffield
The man hit 509 career home runs and can claim that he was an original Marlin. Plus, he hit .320 with three home runs in the postseason during the team's '97 World Series run, during which he had a mustache.
Giancarlo Stanton
Stanton's only been around since 2010 and he already ranks third in franchise history with 25 career wins above replacement. He's had a goatee since he cracked into the bigs, so brace yourself for his second act as a babyfaced giant. Though, if you ask us, Stanton should be able to grow his goat back once he becomes the Marlins G.O.A.T. (he should become the most valuable player in franchise history with a solid showing in April.)