One cool promotion for every team in 2023

Opening Day is days away, which means box scores, fantasy sports, pennant chases and all the thing that make you so happy for six months out of the year. But you know another fun part of the regular season? Promotions! Take it from someone who has a Jon Hamm bobblehead next to his Nelly bobblehead: Free collectibles stick with you forever.

Let’s take a look at my pick for every team’s most fun promotion this season. Free stuff!

AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST

Blue Jays, April 12: Vladimir Guerrero Jr. Gold Glove Bobblehead

The best thing about this bobblehead is that Vlad Jr. is doing splits on it. It hurts just to look at it.

Orioles, Aug. 5: Eddie Murray 1983 World Series Bobblehead

Baltimore is celebrating 40 years since its most recent title, if you can believe that. The O's even got the leaning-back batting stance right.

Rays, April 2: Zim Bear Bobblehead

A decade since they last gave them away, the Rays are bringing back the sorta-cuddly bear bobblehead.

Red Sox, May 2: Pedro Martinez T-shirt

There are five different pictures of Pedro on the front of this shirt, which, honestly, is about 46 too few.

Yankees, Aug. 4: Bucky Dent Bobblehead

Because this is given away in the Bronx rather than in Massachusetts, this one contains zero expletives.

AL CENTRAL

Guardians, July 5: Larry Doby 1948 Cap

The giveaway commemorates the 75th anniversary of Doby becoming the first Black player in the American League.

Royals, April 1: MJ Melendez “Build Your Own” Bobblehead

Because Melendez is so versatile, you can actually change his arms to reflect whatever position you want him to play.

Tigers, Sept. 30: Miggy Print All Over Shirt

The last weekend of the season will be all about Miguel Cabrera.

Twins, July 7: Carlos Correa Bobblehead

You can be (mostly) sure that this one is going to last for a while in that Twins uniform, unlike last year.

White Sox, Sept. 2: Los White Sox Soccer Jersey

Most teams do a soccer jersey giveaway, but most teams don’t have SOX in old-school black lettering on the front.

AL WEST

Angels, April 25: Ohtani/Trout blanket

There’s only one Angels promotion that has both MVPs, and it’s this one.

Astros, April 1: Jeremy Peña World Series MVP Bobblehead

You can relive that Series, and Pena’s part in it, over and over and over.

Athletics, Sept. 1: Glenn Burke Pride Night Socks

While most promotions are fun and zany, this one is significant for its symbolism. The A’s will honor Burke -- the first player to come out as gay after his retirement -- on Pride Night. Proceeds from tickets sold through this link will benefit the Oakland LGBTQ Center, whose mission is dedicated to enhancing and sustaining the well-being of LGBTQ+ individuals, their families and allies by providing educational, social and health-related activities, programs and services.

Mariners, April 14: “The Clinch” Cal Raleigh Bobblehead Night

The bobblehead you waited more than 20 years for.

Rangers, May 20: Fergie Jenkins 1974 Replica Jersey

You remember these jerseys, right? They looked fantastic, and no one looked better in them than Fergie.

NATIONAL LEAGUE EAST

Braves, May 25: OutKast Bobblehead

Of all the choices I had to make putting this piece together, this was the easiest one.

Marlins, June 4: Jeff Conine Mystery Jersey

The Marlins will celebrate their 30th anniversary this year, with Mr. Marlin.

Mets, June 26: Starling Marte Black Panther Bobblehead

The Mets have all sorts of good ones, from Mr. and Mrs. Met Handmade Knit Robot Dolls (which sounds weirder than it is), a Howie Rose sound bobblehead and Pete Alonso sunglasses. But Starling Marte giving the Wakanda salute is the clear winner here.

Nationals, April 28: Nationals Fedora

Are Fedoras coming back? The Nationals are trying to bring fedoras back!

Phillies, July 1: Diesel Postgame Concert

With a special ticket, Shaq gives you a concert postgame. Seriously.

NL CENTRAL

Brewers, April 8: Giannis Antetokounmpo Brewers City Connect Jersey

If you like the Brewers’ City Connect jerseys, and you like Giannis, you cannot go wrong here.

Cardinals, April 1: Molina and Pujols Pitching Bobblehead

Say goodbye to Albert and Yadi by commemorating something they were both quite terrible at doing.

Cubs, Sept. 9: Harry Caray Statue Bobblehead

He’ll be the team’s unofficial mascot forever, though maybe this makes it official.

Pirates, Sept. 15: Roberto Clemente Hat Day

On Clemente Day, against the Yankees no less, this icon is honored with a pretty sweet cap.

Reds, June 3: Joey Votto Golden Bobblehead

It might be his last bobblehead, and 1,900 fans will get a special gold edition.

NL WEST

D-backs, Aug. 12: 25th Anniversary Replica Jersey

Yep, it has been 25 years of baseball in the desert.

Dodgers, April 18: Vin Scully Jersey

It's has his signature microphone, where there is usually a number.

Giants, June 21: Joc Pederson Indiana Jones Bobblehead

This features Pederson, wearing Indy’s signature hat, running from a boulder.

Padres, April 13: Juan Soto Shuffle Bobblehead

You like the little dance Soto does when he takes a pitch? Here it is in bobble form. His head moves, not his body.

Rockies, Aug. 19: Todd Helton 30th Anniversary Jersey

The Rockies are celebrating their 30th anniversary all season long, and there is no better person to help honor it than the best player in franchise history. This night might have been a bit more festive if Helton had made it over the finish line in Hall of Fame voting, but there’s always next year.

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