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Rangers pull a straight flush for a full house

Rangers went bathroom crazy during the Super Flush
@michaelsclair
February 18, 2020

In polite society, you're not supposed to be excited about what you did in the bathroom. Our parents probably taught us that. But on Tuesday, the entire Rangers organization cheered when they -- collectively -- went to the bathroom. Why's that, you ask – as a look of shocked disgust

In polite society, you're not supposed to be excited about what you did in the bathroom. Our parents probably taught us that. But on Tuesday, the entire Rangers organization cheered when they -- collectively -- went to the bathroom.

Why's that, you ask – as a look of shocked disgust slowly spreads across your face. Well, because today was the Super Flush at the Rangers' new stadium, Globe Life Field. And just like the Super Bowl, the Super Flush is an event.

Before the stadium could open to the public for the new season, the Rangers needed to prove that the facilties could handle the restroom needs of a full stadium at peak usage. So, with help from more than 300 students from Arlington ISD's Dan Dipert Career and Technical Education Center, the team and its construction staff got together to flush every toilet. Their task: Go stall to stall, urinal to urinal and pull that handle to prove the plumbing could handle the work.

(That's 860 water closets and 260 urinals for those keeping score at home.)

If it seems insane to do this, well, that's where you're wrong. The NFL's New England Patriots learned the hazards of not having prepared the system when they were playing in old Schaefer Stadium.

On Aug. 15, 1971 -- and after only 300 days of construction -- the stadium opened for the team's first home presesason game against the Giants. That's all well and good. But when fans started actually using the bathrooms, hell literally broke out. The water pressure wasn't strong enough and the plumbing couldn't keep up with the demand.

With the health department threatening to shut down the stadium before the start of the regular season, the team organized the first Great Flush, as every employee at the team tested out the repairs by flushing the toilets at once.

So, before you make fun of the Super Flush, just imagine what could have happened without the Super Flush. Then go thank your toilet at home for being a modern marvel of scientific ingenuity.

Michael Clair writes for MLB.com. He spends a lot of time thinking about walk-up music and believes stirrup socks are an integral part of every formal outfit.