Grandpas, monsters and dingers: 5 future features we want to see from MLB.TV
MLB.TV, the service that has revolutionized your baseball viewing experience and left social contact a remote possibility, is unveiling even better technological achievements. Yes, the creation that allows you to watch every out-of-market game on every supported device is getting a boost.
Starting Wednesday, you will be able to view games in-window of your current browser with a souped-up and simplified user interface and clickable line scores. Even better, you no longer have to download any additional plug-ins to stream video.
But while we're happy with these advances, there are many more that we're hoping for. Here are five that I've submitted to the tech team - we'll let you know what they say.
1. Smell o' Vision
Scent: It's mankind's greatest sense. While watching a game on TV is nice, you're missing out on on that crucial and lovely scent of fresh-cut grass, hot dogs cooking on the grill and the intoxicating aroma of you and your fellow fans sweating in the summer sun.
So, like a modernized William Castle, now the scents of the game will go out of your computer speakers and straight into your nostrils. Enjoy.
2. Baseball View
We have the center-field cameras. We have behind-the-plate view. There are cell phone videos of fans watching from their seats. The only thing we don't have yet is what it looks like to be a baseball. Finally, the dreams of 4-year-olds who don't understand that people can't be objects can come true.
With a tiny camera inside the baseball, you would be able to watch the dizzying effect as it spins to the plate at 95 mph. Or perhaps you catch an R.A. Dickey start and be bounced back and forth on his knuckleball express.
Can you even imagine what it must be like when Giancarlo Stanton connects? I imagine it must feel like this:
3. Lovecraftian Horrors at the Edge of Perception
As the horror novelist H.P. Lovecraft taught us, there are terrifying, ageless creatures that exist all around us: Eldritch gods living under the Earth, fish people wandering the streets, and the cosmological scourge cthulu who watches us from the stars. They are there, they have always been there -- just in the corners of our field of vision --but only a select few can see them.
Fortunately, with this add-on from MLB.TV, you'll be able to see the elemental terrors that will keep you awake for the rest of your life.
(Is this image also proof that Hunter Pence is but a Lovecraftian creation? Yes, yes it is.)
4. Auto-updates your fantasy lineup
While you can already program your MLB.TV to give you alerts when your fantasy and/or favorite players are up to bat or on the mound, this new add-on will take it to the next level: It will automatically update your fantasy lineup. Your third baseman in a slump? No worries, MLB.TV will simply make a waiver claim for that veteran on a hot streak. Need some help in the rotation? Have no fear, the program will propose trades to your fellow owners.
Hopefully in the near future, MLB.TV will draft your lineup and fill your body with the necessary nutrients so you will never have to leave your bed again. Crossing fingers.
5. MLB.TV Grandpa
Finally, the most advanced and needed update: MLB.TV set up so it's like watching the game with your grandpa. Not only will it be voice activated, but it will also take on the personality and mannerisms of a grandfather! So when you tell it to switch games, it'll first say, "Hold on a second, I was watching that," before accidentally changing to the wrong game.
Even better, it will offer up helpful in-game conversation topics. After a particularly great catch, it will say, "Did I ever tell you about the time I spent time with Frank Sinatra at the Sands hotel? After the show, as I was walking back to my room ...." And if you have friends over, it will offer up, "You know, my grandson/daughter is the best artist I've ever seen. Have you seen his/her etchings? Go get them. Seriously, you guys need to see these. Could hang them in the Met."
Will MLB.TV ever add these features? Maybe. For now, we'll be taking full advantage of the new layout and multi-game views. We think our futuristic computer grandfather would approve.