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The five stages of grief, as expressed by pitchers reacting to home runs

There's a lot of grief in this world, and for pitchers, the most grievous of things is to give up a home run. The Kubler-Ross model teaches us that when dealing with grief there are five stages we go through -- and as you'd expect, MLB pitchers go through all of them. Observe below with some help from Marlins reliever Mike Dunn, who surrendered a 13th-inning long ball to the Pirates' Gregory Polanco on Friday:

As for the full spectrum ...

 

1. Denial

5stages

"Why wouldn't I just keep staring at my catcher? Nothing happened just then, nothing at all."

 

2. Anger

5stages

"ONLY MY GLOVE PREVENTS MY UNYIELDING RAGE FROM ENVELOPING THIS UNSUSPECTING EARTH."

 

3. Bargaining

5stages

"Maybe it was a fly ball? Maybe just a very deep fly ball? Maybe?"

 

4. Depression

5stages

"Why even bother continuing to pitch?"

 

5. Acceptance

5stages

"Well then. I guess there's nothing left to say but 'wow.'"