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8 tunes that should replace the Oscars' get-off-the-stage song

Oh, you won an Academy Award? Congrats on having your entire life's work validated and all, but we gotta keep this show rolling.

In the interest of keeping the Oscars under seven hours, the Academy uses that agonizing get-off-the-stage song to rush winner's speech along. But the thing is, nobody really cares. Cuba Gooding, Jr. screamed over the tune back in 1997 and Julia Roberts totally owned the orchestra's conductor when she won for "Erin Brokovich."

Clearly, we need a new go-away song to get these people off the stage. The Jaws theme worked for that guy from Life of Pi, but here are some other options for the Oscars' "get off the stage" music:

1.) The same Oscar song with lyrics provided by Will Ferrell and Jack Black:

2.) One of the loudest and most ear-bleedingest songs of all-time - Slayer's "Raining Blood":

3.) Remember K-Fed? Nobody wants to be immortalized babbling over "Playing with Fire," which is possibly the worst song ever released:

4.) Beck's "Loser," because even though you just won an Oscar, you've now entered gloating celebrity loserdom for standing on stage an extra nine minutes:

5.) Rosanne Barr singing the National Anthem will not only shoo winners away from the podium, but probably make everyone in the room more embarrassed than they've ever been in their lives:

6.) In another incredibly embarrassing "performance," -- Lil Wayne singing "Take Me Out to the Ball Game:"

7.) The Black Eyed Peas' 2003 hit "Shut Up" gets right to the point:

8.) Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline," because there's no way anybody is sticking around to hear it even one more time - except Ben Affleck:

-- Matt Monagan /