A review of Chewbacca's first pitch by someone who has never seen Star Wars

Imagine you've never seen Star Wars. Imagine you had no idea about the most popular movie of all-time (behind only The Godfather, Ghostbusters , and Mary Kate and Ashley's Passport to Paris).

Imagine then that you were watching Chewbacca (though you wouldn't know what to call him) come out to throw the first pitch in St. Louis on Wednesday night.

"Uhh, okay, you won't believe this. I was at the ballpark, right? And there was like, uhh, this hairy beast man thing? Hairy guy, like real hairy. But not dirty. Like this was Sasquatch if he had been taken to the groomers and had his hair straightened for prom. And like, his feet were natural, hairy bellbottoms. I'm not lying, you gotta believe me.

So, anyway, he gets out to the mound and, oh yeah, he has, like, a bandolier purse? So if he needs to shoot anyone and pay for his latte -- because he doesn't wear any pants -- he can. And he throws the ball to the plate. Except that the Cardinals' mascot is there and is wearing a cloak. I dunno why, maybe it's cold.  

 But get this: the crowd is going nuts! Nuts! It doesn't make any sense! Why are people cheering?"

"Are you talking about the movie Star Wars?" 

"Dunno, never seen it."