Stop the presses, because Aaron Altherr just managed to pull off an inside-the-park grand slam

Just a couple of weeks ago, Xander Bogaerts brought us the wonders of the Little League grand slam, and the world rejoiced at the shenanigans gifted upon us. But the Phillies' Aaron Altherr was far from satisfied -- while he no doubt appreciates the Benny Hill theme as much as the next ballplayer, he couldn't help but long for the olden days of the pure inside-the-park home run. 

"What if we married the tension of a bases loaded situation with the thrill of a guy rounding the bases as fast as possible?" Altherr thought to himself, we're assuming. So, during Friday's Phillies-Nationals game, he set out to make that dream a reality. And when he looped a line drive that got past a diving Michael Taylor, he had his chance. Cue the merry-go-round!

OK, so maybe not the most suspenseful play at the plate, but hey -- this was his first try, it's a work in progress. No doubt exhausted from all that sprinting, Altherr figured he'd take a more leisurely route to home plate in his next AB:

What, Aaron, no inside-the-park cycle?