Pedro Alvarez hit a one-inch chopper, learned that mud and baseballs do not mix

Baseball and rain do not generally mix. Aside from the prime slip and slide conditions, it's the reason rain delays have been such a long-standing institution -- Mother Nature scoffs at our feeble attempts at establishing any semblance of order or meaning, and would rather we flail about in the mud trying to corral a tiny wet ball. 

Pedro Alvarez, however, refuses to abide by this nature of all things. The man they call "El Toro" took the plate on Monday night against the Brewers a proudly defiant man, determined to achieve greatness despite a soaked PNC Park. It did not work out that way: 

Carlos Gomez, having witnessed firsthand the futility of any attempt at something resembling baseball, did the only prudent thing -- he took cover using what was immediately available, even if that happened to be the lid of a trash can: 

We trust you'll have your Oscar the Grouch Photoshops at the ready.