Andrew McCutchen is baseball's best fashion designer: Selected Pirates' new gorgeous socks
In olden days, socks were merely a way to hide our feet from God's eyes.
As we got older and realized that our feet smelled terribly, humans used socks to hide the terrible stench of sweating, filthy feet.
And now? Now we use socks to preen and primp, to show off the glory of our sleek ankles or toned calves.
Therefore, the fashion-forward McCutchen knew the Pirates needed to upgrade their sock game. With the team usually wearing a simple black option, the All-Star center-fielder took inspiration from the Orioles and went to the team with his request.
After working with equipment manager Scott Bonnett, McCutchen helped select the look of the beautiful new sock that features yellow stripes outlined with white on a black base. It's like a reverse bumblebee for human calves. And they're perfect.
McCutchen was an obvious choice to design the accessory. After all, he's essentially the Alexander McQueen of sock fashion after being spotted wearing these zebra stripes a few years back.
Finally, McCutchen has no need to hide his socklove away -- even if they won't be wearing the socks during every game and with every uniform configuration.
Although, I do want to make one minor quibble: While the Pirates socks are great, they are not a stirrup. That would require a looped bottom that reveals the sexiest hint of sanitary sock underneath. Just want to make sure we're all on the same page.