As Lance Berkman departs for Texas, Torty Craig's Twitter account wishes him a touching happy trails

January 5, 2013

You might be familiar with Torty Craig, Allen Craig's pet tortoise, whose tweets have given Cardinals fans motivation and joy since St. Louis' World Series title run in 2011. Lance Berkman was a key part of that campaign, and on the day the Big Puma signed with the Rangers, Torty tweeted a series of moving, Western-themed goodbye tweets for the Texas native:

I was on a hike when a bandit lept out from some bushes, brandishing a 6-shooter & hollered: "GIMME THAT THAR RING, TORTOISE!"
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

"You cannot have this ring, good sir," I said. "'Tis my #11in11 #STLCards World Series championship ring & my most prized possession."
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

"GIMME IT ER I'LL SHOOT!" the bandit yelled as he waived the gun in my face. So I withdrew into my shell. I heard hoof beats & a scuffle.
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

I poked my head out to see what was the ruckus. The bandit was disarmed & tied up. My rescuing hero? Berkmang! "Are you OK, Torty?" he asked
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

Me: "Just a little spooked. Thanks for rescuing me!" Berkmang got back on his Clydesdale. "I've got to be on my way to Arlington," Berk said
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

"You're leaving?" I asked. "For the Rangers?" Berk: "Yep. Goin' back home to TEX." "But, they may make you DH!" He nodded. "That they may."
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

Tears rolled down my cheek. "Don't cry," said Berk. "We'll always have #11in11. Hi ho, Silver! Away!" Berk yelled & rode off into the sunset
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

From #STLCards Nation, thank you, Berkmang. May the Gods of Baseball bless you. Best of luck in the DH league.
— Torty Craig (@TortyCraig) January 5, 2013

-- Dan Wohl / MLB.com