Five (really good) reasons why every team should sign Aubrey Huff

There are not many players like Aubrey Huff. Which is why it's such great news that he's looking to make a comeback. Out of baseball since retiring after the Giants' 2012 World Series because of issues with depression and anxiety, the soon-to-be 39-year-old is ready to get back into baseball. 

"I'm realistic. I'm fully aware people will think this is crazy. That's fine," Huff said, adding, "The swing is there. Now it's a matter of having someone give me a shot.''

But just what would a team be getting with a slugger four years from his last Major League appearance? That's easy. Here are the five upgrades that Huff can give any team starting tomorrow. 

Home runs

Granted, we're taking Huff at his word here that the swing is back. But assuming he's telling the truth, Huff has hit 242 career home runs. Plus, with 189 of them coming against right-handers, he's perfect for any team looking for a platoon partner. 

Art

That's right, Huff is an artist. Not only does this mean that the team can have wine and paint Tuesdays with Huff leading the class, but it will also reduce decorating expenses in the clubhouse. Who needs to stop at Target and pick up that generic "Chat noir" poster when you could just have Huff paint something even better. Like a Transformer. Drinking beer. 

About to start a painting of Optimus Prime drinking a Budweiser. Been a long time since I've painted! #nerdalert pic.twitter.com/L65ZT4Al8J

- AUBREY HUFF (@aubrey_huff) July 26, 2014

Music

Not only that, but with Huff around, every night is karaoke night. Who needs expensive stereo systems when you can just have Huff wander around singing Johnny Cash songs? 

Aubrey Huff sings "Ring of Fire" from Big League Stew on Vimeo.

Good luck

That's right, just like when choosing your SPECIALS in Fallout 4, Aubrey Huff is your one-stop good luck boost. Or, well, maybe not him, exactly, but he is entrusted as the keeper of the lucky thong underwear. While we don't want to say it was the only reason for the Giants' 2010 and 2012 World Series victories, we also can't prove that they weren't. 

Plus, even when he wasn't on the team in 2014, the rally thong still made its presence felt. 

I will be wearing this to support not only my package but also the #SFGiants! Go Giants!! pic.twitter.com/ChU3XyU7mW

- AUBREY HUFF (@aubrey_huff) October 1, 2014

A great friend until the very end

After all, what else is a baseball team, but 25 of the very best friends you can ask for? And with Huff, you'll always have a guy around who is ready to give you a friendly pat on the back -- even if it means hurting himself in the process.  

How does a team say no to that guy?