Every Aaron Sorkin character ever would insist that if you haven't had the pleasure of watching Bartolo Colon in the batter's box, then you've never seen Shakespeare the way it was meant to be done.

The thrashing, the contorting, the facial expressions. It isn't just baseball; it's fine performance art.

In 2014, Colon dazzled Mets fans with his prowess at the plate, completing a bona fide two-game hit streak that included this spectacular double.

For an encore, Mets hitting coach Kevin Long has asked Colon to increase his production at the plate by 50 percent. That's right: Bartolo Colon has a hits quota in 2015 and it's three.

Throughout the 2015 season, we'll track Colon on his ascent to Mets immortality because our refined baseball palates allow us to enjoy the finer things in life. See his April at-bats here and check out May below:

May 31

First At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 2

Result: Double

Grade: A+

Analysis: HE DID IT! HE DID IT! It's not even June and Colon has met his hit quota for the 2015 season. After Anthony Recker moved into scoring position on a wild pitch, Colon made the Marlins pay for not respecting his offense, lining a pitch into left-center field that sneaked by a shallow Ichiro Suzuki. It rolled to the wall and Colon rolled into second with his third hit of the season and the second extra-base hit of his 18-year career. Even Commissioner Manfred was impressed.

Second At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 4

Result: Groundout

Grade: D+

Analysis: Colon got another shot with two down in the bottom of the fourth and promptly grounded to short on the first pitch he saw. Juan Lagares had worked the count to start the inning, but when you're facing your opposing number, you gotta make him throw more than a pitch to retire the side in order. 

May 25

First At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 2

Result: K

Grade: C-

Analysis: Nothing to see here, really. Bartolo got a couple of hacks in and fouled off some nice fastballs, but then took a curveball on the outside corner for strike three. It was your garden-variety pitcher strikeout, without any of the wonderful Bartolo shenanigans we've come to know and love. 

Second At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 5

Result: Single

Grade: A+

Analysis: Look at that piece of hitting. After swinging through a first-pitch fastball, Bartolo demonstrated some positively Gwynn-esque bat control to stay back on a hanging curve and deliver a solid line drive to left field.

But wait, there's more! Lest you think he's a one-dimensional slugger, he followed up his single by -- prepare yourselves -- tagging up and taking third base on a deep fly ball. BARTOLO BASERUNNING ALERT:

Sadly, Bartolo wouldn't make it all the way home, crushing the dreams of fans around the world. Still: Two hits down, one to go!

May 20

First At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 3

Result: Reached on an error

Grade: A

Analysis: THE BALTIMORE CHOP! Sure, the official scorer ruled this an E-2, but check out those wheels. Colon made contact, hustled down the first-base line (and dropped the bat!) to beat this thing out. He eventually made it all the way to third, but couldn't tag and score when Randal Grichuck made a diving catch in center. 

May 15

First At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 3

Result: Sac bunt

Grade: D +

Analysis: Sure, he moved the runner forward, but we've come to expect showmanship from Colon. If we can't have hits or helmets flying through the air, what's the point here? It was also his only at-bat of the night, so our dreams were crushed early. 

May 10

First At-Bat

Inning: Top 3

Result: Groundout

Grade: B+

Analysis: Bartolo only saw two pitches here, and the first was a called strike, but he did manage to put the second one into play. The out also required a little extra effort for Freddy Galvis, and he's a ninja! 

Second At-Bat

Inning: Top 5

Result: Bunt popout

Grade: B-

Analysis: Bartolo was gunning for the bunt the minute he stepped up to the plate and he did make contact … but he popped out to Cameron Rupp. However, it's kind of impressive that he managed to turn a baseball bat into one of those paddle/rubber ball toys.

Third At-Bat

Inning: Top 6

Result: Groundout

Grade: C+

Analysis: Bartolo grounded out yet again, but from his swing alone you'd guess he hit it out of the park. Most importantly, he managed to make contact three at-bats in a row, which means the day of the second hit coming ever closer. 

May 5

First At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 3

Result: K

Grade: B

Analysis: Sure, he struck out, but Bartolo struck out in the most Bartolo way possible -- spinning around in a circle as his helmet toppled off of his head. Also, major bonus points for hitting his helmet farther than the ball.

Second At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 4

Result: K

Grade: D

Analysis: Not a very good at-bat here for Bartolo. He only saw three pitches and struck out -- stranding a runner on second base in the process. The second pitch may have been a bit high and outside, but if he wants more respect at the plate, Bartolo needs to get to that three-hit plateau sooner rather than later.

Third At-Bat

Inning: Bottom 7

Result: Groundout

Grade: C+

Analysis: Bartolo saw four pitches in this at-bat and managed to pull a sharp grounder to shortstop on a 1-2 fastball. It was a good swing and with a little more time in the cages, that bat speed is quicker, that ground ball is more to the left and Bartolo has a clean single into the outfield. Until then, we just hope and pray to the almighty ... Bartolo.