Carlos Gomez starts a gum war with Yasiel Puig that may end us all

For years, chewing gum was innocuous. Beyond school children putting it under their desks and Tom Cruise using it as an explosive in "Mission Impossible," it was innocent. Pure. Bubblicious. 

Until Friday. 

While running off the field at the end of the fourth inning, Carlos Gomez decided to use his chewing gum as a projectile against the Dodgers' Yasiel Puig. Though we don't know if he was acting independently or if it's part of an underground cabal of Already Been Chewers, all we know is that the first salvo has been fired. And only Puig's immense athleticism could save him. 

This isn't the first act of gum defiance that Gomez has shown. On July 4, Gomez left behind a note and some gum for Billy Hamilton -- was this intended to recruit Hamilton into his ABC club? 

With the amount of bubble gum reserves housed in every Major League dugout and clubhouse, there are enough terrifyingly pink reserves that, if fired all at once, will blot out the sun and plunge humanity into a long, sugary bubble winter. And the only ones who will survive are those with the proper bubble gum protection.