Can the Starlin Castro and Ben Zobrist deals help settle the New York vs. Chicago debate?

The winds of change were blowing in Chicago on Tuesday night … well, more accurately, in Nashville, but no one calls Tennessee's capital the Windy City. The Cubs signed Ben Zobrist to a four-year, $56 million deal, which means he and Joe Maddon will be reunited, probably in a haze of '70s cologne.

In a separate deal, the Cubs reportedly dealt Starlin Castro to the Yankees in exchange for right-handed pitcher Adam Warren and a player to be named later, most likely former possessor of the greatest mustache in baseball, Brendan Ryan.

It's nice that the Cubs and the Yankees are getting along, because their respective cities don't always have the politest of discourses. What I'm saying is, some people love deep dish pizza, some people love actual pizza and never the twain shall meet. But now that Castro, Warren and Ryan are switching cities, they're going to have to clear up their positions on some important New York vs. Chicago debates, such as …

Who's the first city?

In addition to being the Windy City, Chicago is occasionally called the "second city" … implying that New York is the first and best city. In actual historical terms, New York as a city has been around since 1624, whereas Chicago wasn't founded until 1833. In baseball terms … well, let's just say we all know that 27 is a bigger number than two and leave it at that.

But that's why trades happen -- so that teams can make new history. Look, so far teams that have acquired Zobrist have a strong record of winning the World Series.

Who tells the best jokes?

Both New York and Chicago have famous comedy groups. NYC has the Upright Citizens Brigade, with alums like Amy Poehler and Jenny Slate. Chicago's most well-known group is The Second City (that's a callback), and its alums include Chris Farley and Stephen Colbert. But which baseball player can contribute the most? We know new Yankee Castro is pretty good at impressions:

He understands absurdist humor too:

Hopefully he doesn't take it too far and try to catch Greg Bird.

Who makes better music?

Both cities have rich musical traditions, but which one is the best? New York can lay claim to Jay-Z, The Ramones and Frank Sinatra, while Chicago gets Kanye West, Eddie Vedder and the Smashing Pumpkins. But Chicago also just got Julianna Zobrist, a talented musician in her own right. Plus, she and Ben are the parents of Blaise Royal Zobrist, who has a name so cool she'll definitely be allowed to hang out with baby Saint West. Can you imagine the kind of musical powerhouse they could grow into?

And if Ryan grows out that mustache again he'll automatically know how to play the banjo. That's how old-timey mustaches work.

Which city is better for runners?  

Not wherever Warren is pitching:

But the debate is far from settled. It looks like these deals have only intensified the New York vs. Chicago debate and we can't wait to see it play out on the diamond.