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Cut4 postseason preview: Rookies in Speedos, the Boomstick and everything else you need to know about the Texas Rangers

Playoffs? You kiddin' me? Uh, no, actually we're not. In case you've been holed up watching Gangnam Style videos for the last few months, here's what you need to know about the season that was and the postseason to come -- Texas Rangers edition.

Also: Athletics, Braves, Cardinals, Giants, Nationals, Orioles, Reds, Tigers, Yankees

Coming off two straight World Series appearances, you could easily argue that the Rangers have been baseball’s most successful team since 2010. You could also argue that going 0-for-2 in those Fall Classics leaves Texas with some unfinished October business. Will there be a third time for Ron Washington’s crew? And if so, will it be a charm? We’re talking about the real Ron Washington, by the way. Not the puppet version.

- You can’t discuss this Rangers season without mentioning the Boomstick. No, not Nelson Cruz’s bat. The gigantic two-foot, one-pound hot dog named after Nelson Cruz’s bat. Although Cruz may not have tried the frank, he was spotted piloting the Boomstick Express inside Rangers Ballpark.

- Nellie is a dangerous man at the plate, but he’s been known to whiff from time to time. The slugger was straight up flabbergasted when Josh Hamilton told him Joe DiMaggio struck out only 369 times in his entire career. Seriously, watch Cruz's eyes almost pop out of his head.

- In January, the Rangers won the bidding war for Japanese right-hander Yu Darvish, arguably the best pitcher on the market. If you're gonna go big, you might as well go big in Texas. Darvish’s 16-9 rookie campaign inspired the Year of the Yu, complete with massive big-heads and a tiny doppelganger.  

- This Rangers fan went all out to show his love for Mike Napoli in August. That might be the haircut of the year. Not just the Rangers haircut of the year. The best haircut of 2012 by anyone, anywhere, period. Texas also had an entrant in the “Worst Outfit of the Year” category, for their rookies dressed in Speedos. Tanner Scheppers may have thought he got off easy after lugging around a pink backpack in August, but no such luck.

- While it was mostly a happy season in Arlington, there was also at least one sad moment. In May, the Rangers -- and baseball fans everywhere -- lost a special someone. Ahem, sorry, lost a special something. Realizing it had become too famous for its own good, Derek Holland decided to shave off his infamous mustache. The lip sweater had appeared in commercials and created its own Twitter account, but Holland felt it had to go. Doesn’t his face look strangely naked without it?

- Josh Hamilton submitted another monster campaign, smashing 43 home runs and driving in 128. Those numbers could go to anyone's head, so it’s only a little surprising that the outfielder told Jimmy Kimmel he’d want Denzel Washington to play him in a movie. Maybe a second career as a pop star is a better road to Hollywood for Hamilton. The Rangers have already converted a few former Justin Bieber fans.

- Some Texas fans believe that Adrian Beltre has more power than Walker, Texas Ranger. Can't argue with that. But if you want a really powerful moment, watch this real-life Walker get surprised by his dad’s return from Afghanistan.

POSTSEASON PREDICTIONS

- Ron Washington calls for Joe Nathan during the Wild Card game against the Orioles, but is surprised to see Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo trot in from the bullpen. Turns out, Nathan’s latest friendly wager with Mike Adams involved more than just dressing the part.

- After tossing a three-hit shutout in the ALCS, Darvish heads straight home to type up a 10,000 word blog expressing his happiness. The post gets few hits, however, because it is composed entirely in Wingdings and emoticons.

- Robbie Ross spends the entire morning before Game 1 of the World Series milking cows to provide refreshment for his teammates. Unfortunately, by the time Ross arrives at the ballpark, sideline reporter Emily Jones had already doused the team with all the hydration they need.

-Jeremy Moses / MLB.com

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