Deadliest Catch's 'Wild' Bill threw out a bizarre first pitch at Wrigley Field:

Look, Captain "Wild" Bill Wichrowski, I'm disappointed in your first pitch.

Not in you. You're totally awesome on Deadliest Catch. You're a rugged, sea-hardened fisherman, and I think that's completely and totally awesome. The mere fact that you're throwing out a first pitch for the Cubs should be super cool, but after watching this video, I feel nothing but deflated.

Why?

Because of the showmanship, "Wild" Bill. That's why.

You walk out there pumping up the crowd and then jokingly shake off the catcher, moving into an exaggerated windup. After all that pomp and circumstance, you'd better fire one in the zone.

You didn't. We can't see the whole pitch in the video, but we don't need to. Just look at that release. After all that hype, too.

I guess now we know why it's not called "Deadliest Pitch." (Yup, I went there.)

-- Dakota Gardner / MLB.com