At long last, you can tell everyone Cabrera, Cespedes and more are #ASGWorthy via emoji
Language has taken us a long way -- out of our Neolithic days, past the invention of the printing press, all the way through the age of the Internet. It's how we make ourselves individuals and how we make ourselves known to one another, how we express the most complex of our feelings.
Well, it was how we expressed the most complex of our feelings. Actual words have had a great run, but it's time for them to cede their ground to the new best way of communicating: emojis.
"But wait," you're thinking, "I know I can use emojis to explain how much my pet ghost loves pizza and surfing, or even rewrite classic novels in them, but there's one thing missing: How am I supposed to tell everyone who I'm voting for to start the All-Star Game?"
Never fear, Tiger-Mojis are here:
Now you can tell all your friends who you're choosing for first base like this:
Vote Miggy: Esurance MLB All-Star ballot
Need to talk about an outfielder with a cannon for an arm? Covered:
Vote Cespedes: Esurance MLB All-Star ballot
You can even write emoji-poetry about a certain shortstop's defensive prowess:
Vote Iglesias: Esurance MLB All-Star ballot
Even non-Tigers fans can join the party:
Vote Vogt: Esurance MLB All-Star ballot
Vote Cruz: Esurance MLB All-Star Ballot
Vote Twins: Esurance MLB All-Star Ballot
Vote McCutchen: Esurance MLB All-Star Ballot
Vote Yankees: Esurance MLB All-Star Ballot
So that's it. The complete range of human experience has now been captured by emojis. It's time for words to pack up and go home. So why are we still talking like this? A new era has dawned.