Facial Hair Watch: The nine things lost in Dale Thayer's magnificent mustache

There are few things in this world whose natural beauty can take your breath away: The hot springs in Yellowstone National Park. The peaks of the Himalayas. The roller coaster in the Mall of America. 

You can add one more object to that list: Dale Thayer's mustache. His lip bristler, an 1800's throwback with large front-facing muttonchops, would be a hit at any Civil War re-enactment or festival. But as anyone who has tried to win a BBQ rib-eating contest with facial hair knows, there is one major issue that isn't being discussed: things getting lost in that forest of face fashion. 

Sure, with shorter facial hair, it's mostly just food crumbs and the occasional television remote. But because of the size of Dale Thayer's tremendous thunderstache, much bigger game has been lost to those fuzzy tendrils.

Like:

A cheesesteak

Declaration of Independence

The boy band O-Town

A DVD copy of 27 Dresses

A nest of wasps

A nest of WASP

A newborn child

Loose change

Another mustache

So how does Thayer stack up in our on-going facial hair rankings of 2014? With a stunning 14.5, he's taken the lead: 

This season's standings:

With time running out on the season, will anyone be able to unseat the hurler? We'll have to wait and find out.