Five reasons Masahiro Tanaka is a more terrifying Japanese import than Godzilla

In 2014, we met a terrifying, fire-breathing force from Japan, hell-bent on the destruction of everything in its path. No, I'm not talking about the new Godzilla movie -- I'm talking about Yankee pitcher Masahiro Tanaka.

I can see where you'd be confused -- the two have a lot in common. Tanaka, however, is clearly the more potent threat. Don't believe me? Let's break it down.

1. Tanaka's got a bigger arsenal.

Tanaka's got a four-seamer, two-seamer, splitter, slider and a curveball. Basically, he can and does throw you everything.

Godzilla does, what exactly? Bash around? Occasionally breathe fire? Please. I'd like to see Godzilla do this to the Fish God:

2. He's much more deceptive.

Godzilla is about as subtle as the Tigers' road trip wardrobe. Tanaka, on the other hand, has been keeping hitters guessing all year. According to Fangraphs, hitters have only been able to make contact off Tanaka 69.2 percent of the time -- good for second best in the Majors.

Hitters just don't know what Tanaka's up to, whereas Godzilla is visible from miles away:

3. Godzilla has to deal with Walter White Bryan Cranston, but Tanaka's got to deal with the AL East.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, we know -- he is the one who knocks. But here's the thing: the AL East features guys like Jose Bautista, Evan Longoria, Chris Davis and David Ortiz. Those guys-

Jeez, Walt, give me two seconds here to make a point. Those guys are some of the best hitters in the game, but Tanaka has made each of them look like they're swinging a toothpick out there.

Bautista:

Longoria:

Davis:

Ortiz:

4. Godzilla loses at the end. Tanaka prefers not to lose.

Yeah, spoiler alert: Godzilla doesn't destroy all mankind. As a matter of fact, he loses pretty much every time he tries to take over the world. And the 1998 version was so bad that everyone lost.

Tanaka, on the other hand, is not a fan of losing. On Tuesday night, Tanaka got his first loss as a member of the Yankees -- and it happened to be his first loss since August 19, 2012.

As for Godzilla ...

5. He's got New Yorkers on his side.

Say what you will about New Yorkers, but if you come to the city and play well, the fans will have your back through thick and thin.

Godzilla, on the other hand, has no interest in treating New Yorkers with respect, or putting on a show on their behalf. He's interested in one thing -- destruction:

Yeah, that's no good. But ultimately, that singular focus is his undoing. In attacking New York, Godzilla made 8,000,000 new enemies -- and these are people who willingly cheer for the Knicks, so you know they fear nothing.

But with 50,000 fans cheering you on in the Bronx, you'd be amazed at the things you can achieve -- especially if you're wearing No. 19: