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Happy 36th birthday to Mr. Jazz Hands himself, Juan Uribe

There aren't many players like Juan Uribe, who turned 36 on Sunday. Not many look like him -- his barrel-shaped frame makes him look like the portly strongmen of the 1930s or that guy who is really, really good on your softball team. He's had more comebacks than Michael Keaton's character in "Birdman," becoming a key player after looking his Major League days were numbered on three different occassions. 

Oh yeah, and he has the best jazz hands this side of Bob Fosse:

Jazz hans

The appeal of Uribe goes far beyond just his impressive defense (54.7 career UZR) or his postseason home runs: 

This is a player whose fashion choices wouldn't look out of place in The Hunger Games:

Hunger Games

Who enters the clubhouse regularly chomping a cigar like an old-time sportswriter and owns car rims that are straight out of a high schooler's dream board

#goribe con sus spinner rims #hahahahahahaha

A video posted by Se Feliz No Perfecto (@hanleyramirez13) on

His musical talent demands that he release a solo album: 

Uribe algo q ustedes no sabían es guitarrista por el memorial day #goribe #dodgers #mlb #mlbfancave

A video posted by @yasielpuig (@yasielpuig) on

And, while living by the axiom to "dress for the job you want," Uribe has even taken on the role of player-manager -- at least, for one day:

Uribe manager

Uribe doesn't even age like a normal player. Last season he posted his highest batting average, on-base percentage, and slugging percentage at the age of 35.

So, as the Dodgers third baseman turns one year older, we can only hope that he'll play baseball forever: Showing off his jazz hands to the aliens that come to colonize the world and fighting with Yasiel Puig as the sun envelops the Earth. 

Puig